Beer Goggles: The Silence

Director: John R. Leonetti

Starring: Stanley Tucci, Kiernan Shipka

Review Author: Tony

Well….damn!!! Not since our previous Beer Goggles for the truly awful, John Q, have I unintentionally stumbled upon a Beer Goggle’s candidate. The funny thing was I had just watched Humanoids of The Deep and was content to slot it into this months schedule. But the night was still young and I had a enough cans for another movie. Since I had Netflix on already I though I’d check out one of their original films. The Silence was one of the first to pop up and the few seconds of the preview looked very similar to one of my favourite films of 2018, A Quiet Place, so I said why not…….and here we are now.

While it’s easy to write it off as A Quiet Place ripoff with similar plot points like monsters attracted to sound and a deaf character, but The Silence is actually based on a novel from a few years back so it’s unfair to call it a ripoff. That’s about the only nice thing I can say about this film because while it can’t be called A Quiet Place copycat it certainly can be compared to it as it fails in every category that A Quiet Place succeeds.

While Netflix has been viewed as a game-changer for the film and TV industry, any film film carrying the Netflix Original logo is rightfully met with a lot of skepticism. It’s too broad a statement to say all Netflix films are pure shite, there are a few hidden gems among the drivel, but I believe the poor quality of the films is due to restricting inexperienced filmmakers with tight budget constraints and cheap production teams. Sure Netflix can boast about getting decent directors or actors on board their platform but they need to cast a wider net and bring on cinematographers, composers, sound mixers and other vital members of production teams. Netflix just seems to be green-lighting any script they get their hands on and rush it into production. While I admire the creative control they allow for filmmakers they need to find them better resources.

It’s rare to see a film so inept that you begin to question whether it’s a parody. The Silence is dull and uninspired to the point where I sobered the fuck up and just gazed with glassy eye disbelief at a film where even the director felt uninterested. It’s not scary, there’s zero suspense, the actors seem bored, The effects are laughable and the plot is poorly realized. The film seems to actively work against it’s own logic as they know sign language but still talk despite the creatures being attracted to sound, also Kiernan Shipka’s character is deaf but this is barely utilized in a film about staying fucking silent (she also seems to have selective hearing throughout reacting to noises and people talking behind her).

Half the point of Beer Goggles is having a drunken laugh at a films expense but The Silence is just a chore to sit through. It’s like a box ticking exercise of modern post apocalyptic tropes where everyone signed on for a quick shoot and a quick cheque. While Roger Corman was known for cheap cash grab films to capture interest in current trends or fads, he always thrived to make the best film he could both under budget and ahead of schedule which is why many have cult followings and his name celebrated. The Silence is just a throwaway piece of media greenlit and rushed to production trying ride on the coattails of the infinitely more successful A Quiet Place.

Shame on Netflix for producing such tripe. It’s a sad day when I can’t even laugh at a movie this bad or find some kind of intoxicated enjoyment.

Rating: 0.5 / 5 glasses of piss water